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Ellen Wagar
Late Ellen Wagar was a friend to all and a productive citizen of Parham
The death of Ellen Wagar at her home here June 28 was, in a very real way, the end of an era.
She was an institution in the village. She touched the lives of everyone. As a mother of 11 children and a widow of 38 years, she was an active member of the community and an inspiration to her family, friends and womanhood.
After the death of her husband, Ellen opened and operated an inn. She played the organ for her church and piano for local dances. She was local switchboard operator. She held several offices with the United Church Women and worked for the Parham Agricultural society. She made quilts and maple syrup. She was always busy and she always had time for her family and friends.
More than just a house
Lydia Elizabeth Ellen Wagar died in the house she was born in 82 years ago. Directly across from the Anglican church, the stately frame residence was for many years far more than just a house. It was the Parham Inn and Ellen was the innkeeper.
When her husband William, who worked at the time for Courtauld's rayon plant in Cornwall, died in 1943, Ellen faced a crisis. They had lived in the Parham home previously, as had Ellen's parents before them, and she gravitated back here, no one knows quite why for sure.
"Opening the inn was her own idea," her daughter Iva Grant of Kingston said. "She came here, happened to notice the house was for sale and bought it."
"She got the house, barn, chicken house and four acres for $3,500," said he son Eric, who is principal of Hinchinbrooke public school. "She later sold off the four acres and just kept the house."
"Yeah," Iva teases Eric and all his fraternal siblings collectively, "because she had a hard time getting some of you fellows to dig all those potatoes."
Some adjustments will have to be made at the Parham United church since Ellen's passing. She was organist there from 1957 until early this year. "They just couldn't seem to get anyone as reliable as her." Carol her youngest daughter says. "I know she kept on playing a lot longer than she intended to."
Eric, Iva and Carol are asked to try to sum up their mother's chief qualities in a few words. There are long pauses . She doesn't sum up in a few words. Tears are welling up in her eyes, Carol tries first.
"She treated everybody with respect. She was a Christian, devoted to the church."
Eric struggles for a word and finds 'resourceful' his best thumbnail description. Iva remembers her mother as a "patient, kind person." All terms are found wanting and Carol tries again. "She always had a quiet kind of way of controlling, or correcting our behavior," she says. It triggers something from her childhood.
"Remember the frying pan, Iva?" she grins at her sister. "Aw come on." Iva protests "You know very well it was a tin one. It wouldn't hurt anybody."
It's out of the closet now and there is no stopping it. Iva had a battle with one of her sisters one day long ago. She's not sure now whether it was Averil or Kathleen. "They were both agitators," she chuckles. Whichever, a frying pan was at hand at the critical moment. "Jeepers, they were all saying it was this great bug cast-iron one," Iva explains,. "But it was only tin. Wouldn't hurt anyone."
Robert died seven years ago, was born in 1920. Carol, last of the 11, came along 21 years later. Robert and guy were overseas and three other Wagar children were beyond minding stage when Ellen set up the Village Inn. The tourist trade was such as it was in those days, would be a means of providing for the other six, Iva, then 16 was also working in Cornwall. She kept her job.
Vacationers soon learned the Inn was a great place to Lodge. the Wagar children remember on New York state man who stayed at the inn annually before actually buying a cottage nearby. He still spends holidays at the cottage.
One night when he arrived after dark and found the lights out, the man quietly "checked in" on the front porch, where he slept until morning. Not that he would have disturbed the household by rousing the occupants. Ellen was used to it. "There were so many of us heading off in all directions every morning," Iva recalls. "And it seemed every one of us went to school or to work at a different hour, anywhere from 5 to 9 a.m."
'Forgot to look at clock'
Mother used to get us all out in plenty of time. Sometimes she'd wake up at 2 a.m., forget to look at the clock and start getting people on their way. " It was so funny one time. we were still in Cornwall and she sent Dad out to work before the street cars started running. He waited a while and then walked the whole four miles to work, got there a whole hour early, still wondering what had happened to the street cars."
In 1954 Ellen turned her house into the Parham exchange of the old Morrow Telephone Company. She became switchboard operator, apparently as an incidental service, mission central for the area.The buzzing homestead was transformed into a forerunner of today's telephone answering service. "People would call, just to say their first name and leave messages for others who might be calling for them, Iva said.
Her switchboard work ended in about 1966 when the company was sold and more modern equipment installed. Eric remembers the year because the Canada pension Plan just came into effect. Just barely.
"Her pension started off at $2 a month," he smiled. "Later on it got up to $6."
Local and area dances
Ellen played piano or organ for local and area dances, receptions, weddings and funerals. She learned her music from her sister Myrtle Ball of Verona, who, though 88, still lays for area functions and even gives the odd lesson.
With a number of willing family members Ellen served both at their home and at the annual fair. She held several offices with the United Church Women and served the Parham Agricultural Society as secretary-treasurer for many years.
The Wagars raised pigs and chickens and grew vegetables. Ellen made her own maple syrup and occasionally sold handicrafts she crocheted or knitted. And she made quilts.
"But she never sold them." Eric said. "She always gave the quilts away. In fact she gave one to each of her 11 children and 25 grandchildren. we all have one." That would add up to 36 quilts, then wouldn't it? "No," Eric says. "There were a lot of other people who got them too. I don't know how many."
Some of the family have gone further afield but most have settled in Eastern Ontario. Guy lives in Johnstown, near Prescott, and Averil Goodberry, along with Iva and Carol make their homes in Kingston.
Eric and his sister Kathleen Goodfellow live here and brother Roger is just down the road in Verona. Douglas works in St. Catherines, Randall in Louisiana and Aileen is vice-counsel at the Canadian embassy in Washington.
The Reverend John Matthew, minister of Parham United Church is in the market for a steady organist these days. It hadn't been a problem since Ellen Wagar took on the job 24 years ago.
--From the Scrapbook of Mrs. Madeline Howes (Wagar)
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1899 - 1981 (82 years)